This is What 34 Looks Like

Without much fuss or fanfare, I was able to celebrate my birthday the way I wanted.

Last year was tough for me. Aside from getting my health scare, I was reeling from the demands of my work. When I would normally be juggling about 4-5 different projects all at the same time, last year I decided to focus on not more than 2 obsessions -- essentially pouring my efforts wholeheartedly rather than diluting them and trying to play it by ear and compromising. 

I guess this is what we do when we grow up. Everyday we choose and live our choices. 

The days pass by and I don't want to realize that I wasn't able to live my life to the best I could, or that I wasted God's blessings, that I have been ungrateful. And although I steer away from guilt or regret, I would like to be fearless once again and feel,believe that I can do everything I want to do.

Sing, dance, act, sleep late, read, read, work like a horse, party and socialize, eat savory food. Without fear. No fear.

So despite the cricks in my neck, I decided to hie it to PETA for a meeting and was touched by a birthday song from the general assembly. Sigh. Later that night, I was asked by a member who my best friend in PETA was and I answered... a lot. I don't have a particular best best friend but I consider most of them close to me. I know the people who are close to me there will have my back covered when I need it and vise versa. I am humbled everytime I work or visit them as here are people who have made their marks in their respective fields, leaders in their own right and with no airs at all. This is the company which had the patience to see me through my awkward phases (which is until now) and are quite okay with it. Oh the places I have seen and the people I have met on the road!

These past few weeks, I have been trying to regain my smile as well. You see, I used to smile a lot. So much that some people found it strange...especially foreigners and other serious-minded individuals. Then, in an attempt to be taken seriously, I became very picky when and where and to whom I would smile to. It doesn't help much that something really earthshaking happened and snatched all the goodwill I reserved for the world. It was a good thing it was only for a moment and I snapped out of it, thanks to a random well-intentioned acquaintance.

So now, I am slowly back to smiling more, laughing (a little) loud --- because if you work for a Japanese office, a giggle is loud enough. I am back to my old silly self and am not afraid not to be taken seriously. At my age, I am no longer afraid to be labeled immature. Kebs.

Meanwhile, there is no slowing down. There are more places to see. Things to learn. People to meet. A love to find.