Are Doormats Loveable?

I guess sometimes, doormats may be so cute, so convenient, so accessible, that you just had to get it and use it. After it has served its purpose, the doormat will be left soiled, tattered, and for the most time, forgotten -- unless you come indoors with shit on the sole of your shoe, then you remember, "wait, where is that doormat?"

My friend cannot be described as a doormat. At least from the way I know her. She is the strong, silent type. Witty and playful, with a sharp sense of humor. Intelligent and down-to-earth. She claims she's a nasty person, but she totally isn't. I have yet to see a REAL nasty person admit to that.She's special. I could've sworn she knew her worth.

Then she thought she found The One Guy who understood her. He made her feel happy and special. Who could deny her this joy when my friend was looking for something like this her 30 years? Not even when I knew The One Guy was married, did I dare discourage her. I told her to enjoy it while it lasts, as this may just be an affair. I didn't strongly caution her as I knew she was a responsible, smart woman. She is an adult and she can take care of herself. She knew what she was getting into: the furtive texts, the insufferable buddy-buddy atmosphere when they are in the office, the hiding from public, the clandestine meetings...and that was totally okay with her.

That was three months ago. A month ago, she just stopped texting me or replying to my texts. But last week she made her presence felt by these really vague invitations. Finally, we met yesterday and it seems that some things have changed.

TOG is no longer working at the office. He's found new work. He's technically separated from his wife. His wife is asking for an annulment. And guess what? TOG doesn't want to. He says he still loves his wife. All this he relays to my friend. Stab my heart with a pen, whydontcha?

My friend is visibly distraught. Her book choices are all about suicide and grim endings. She hasn't had a good nights rest in weeks as she has been designated sounding board of TOG. She gets late night calls from him only to hear him mope about his wife and failed relationship. To my friend.

My friend who thought she already had a new job only to have it taken again from her. My friend who thought she had a new corner window office, only to find that another officer was going to get it. My friend who loved TOG that she chose to stay away from her friends and question her faith.

Last night, when I left her, she was still thinking about meeting him. She received a text asking her to meet him. She wasn't up to it because she knew that they will be talking again about the thing that hurts her more: the fact that TOG loves his wife.

I tell her to give it up, even just for the night/day. Let the guy miss you and see your worth. For once, make him feel that you have needs too. That you have a life. That you need to be heard too.

But she says she's fine with that. Although with tears in her eyes. Yuck. This is so pathetic.

She's a big girl. She should know what she's doing.