Sounding Bored

Just got back from lunch with Rona at McDonald's. It was rather quick because probably I wasn't in the mood... She wanted to meet days before but everytime I meet with her, I feel odd so instead of meet with her, I'd rather go home. It's always as if I'm expected to provide something to her, I don't know what.

Sometimes, it gets tiresome getting these messages from her. It's like she updates me on details of her life, like her dream about her mother! My gosh, what can I say when she gives me these information? Why should I even care?

It's really heartless, isn't it? But I feel uneasy about her friendship. Sometimes, she mentions these really inane and potentially disturbing things just for the sake of what? Conversation? Intrigue? Excitement? And it's really tiring already.

Although she is thoughtful and quite nice. She's the type of person whom one can rely on if there is a problem. Dependable. Organized. But some people just suck the life out of me. Too emotionally demanding. Sheesh.

My role in my friendships has always been that of the sounding board. Always listening, empathizing. What my friends don't realize is that I am getting really bored hearing ALL their stories. Don't they think I would like to tell my stories too?

Do I appear too nurturing, supportive? Haaaaaayyyy, naku.

At least, at home, everything's become back to normal. My mom's her usual accommodating self. Still tending to household matters (although she would just like to sit back and relax, even cooking. Better plan Sunday's meal to make her happy...

Must be that time of my month. Getting crabby again.

If you are seeking deep love with someone at this time, go for it, dear Pisces. This is not a time to hold back and hope that the person of your dreams will come to you. Instead, now is the time for you to be active in the pursuit of the person on whom you wish to lavish your tremendously giving heart. If you are already involved in a romantic relationship, you might want to take this opportunity to confirm a greater commitment to your lover.

Yup, desperately searching deep love. That's me. Every night I wonder and fantasize how it would be with a loved one... romantic, ha? Would it be comfortable? Or uneasy? Sexy? or just tolerable. Hope it's not something just so-so. It would be great if I would be so into the guy as he is with me and vise versa.

The question is: Where is he who I close my eyes to see? Will I ever know the sweet hello that's meant for only me?

Questions, questions. At least, I have someone to ask them with. Last night, I was with Felice at Kaya Restaurant, where we had "authentic" Korean fare - Korean beef ramen and steamed dumplings. I swear, if I didn't know it was supposed to be a Korean restaurant, I'd think it was a Japanese or Chinese place. After we went through our usual topics of work, friends , and Korean dramas , we shifted to more important and mind-boggling discussions on our lovelife. Mind-boggling because as it is, our love-life is so mysterious. Our predicament is like the Bermuda Triangle --- a vortex to the unknown, at least, in love.

Since, I've been remiss in my journal-writing --- on paper (such as pity as I have two active journals and three active planners!), I'll be writing my gratitude list for the past two days:

1. Having dinner with Felice at Kaya Restaurant. It was an experience that I enjoyed especially since we were so into our Korean dramas.
2. Fresh bed sheets! I love languishing in my bed. And these are just basic cotton sheets! Yeehaaa!
3. Cute Korean actors. Actors only, take note. The Koreans walking around the city are not what I had in mind -- not at all cute. And I can look (gawk) at these cuties whenever I want --- Mabuhay ang VCDs and DVDs!
4. Easy conversation with co-workers. At least now, am not so uptight or guarded about what I say to them...
5. Life as usual at home, but with fresh realizations: um-effort naman kami to show our love and concern for people who are important to us.

Better sign off. I hear my boss sighing deeply in the other cubicle...