Christmas is Coming! and Kwon Sang Woo is Coming to Town

Kwon Sang Woo is coming to town to get some face time with Filipino fans on December 18!!! Yeeehhhaaaa!Now, if only I can haul my ass to Glorietta after work and buy me some Face Shop items... Hmmm... if only I'd have known, I would've spent my moolah there instead of the Body Shop.

Dear Santa (aka Ben Chan),

Can Kwon Sang Woo pass by our village and make a special appearance at our foot spa place? We promise to carry all Korean, Face Shop products if you do!

___________________________

I'm feeling Christmas-y more this year than the past years and am trying to think of a way to make this occasion special. We're not a very show-y family. And although my parents, especially my mom, have been goading us ever since we can remember to come up with a Christmas program, we have never warmed up to the idea. The only way they could convince all of us to take to the mike, is to make it into a singing contest. Whoever has the lowest score treats Starbucks frapuccinos to all those who joined. Thank goodness for Wow Magic Sing!

Christmas should be about family and togetherness and fun times. Not exchanging gifts you bought at the mall or the tiangge... although, siyempre masaya yun. In the past, that was the highlight of Christmas for us. The change of heart (mine, at least) may be because I don't have to wait for Christmas to get the things I want anymore. Maybe.

Did I mention I was able to buy a new DVD player? Woohoo! Desperate Housewives, here we come!

I haven't done any shopping yet and am dreading the cram again. I look forward to shopping, but on the day of my buying trip, I get overwhelmed and shop a storm just to get it over with. I end up buying stuff which are more expensive. Sigh.

You are Weasel

Found this bit on I. M. Weasel on Wikipedia:
I.M. Weasel is highly intelligent, and is skilled in most if not all known professions, anything from electronics and engineering to medicine and philosophy; he is also incredibly charming and well-versed in the social graces, and will often have a pretty girl at his side (a recurring character, usually dressed as a nurse). Weasel's only real flaw is a secret desire to suck the yolk from eggs (though such behavior is actually a characteristic of the mongoose family, which is of a different order of mammals than weasels). He is usually the only successful character in a given episode. The standard image of Weasel wears no clothing, though he will often don outfits appropriate to his activities (such as a lab coat when working as a doctor or scientist). He is prone to declaring "I am Weasel!" before leaping into a situation.

Whenever I see Weasel, I cringe. Apparently cartoons are drawn from real life and Weasel has just jumped out of Cartoon Network and into my life.

There is no escaping his pronouncements on virtuosity. He's all puffed up inside despite his cadaverous exterior. He knows it all but masks it in an effacing manner. Asks you for your opinion, and nudges it aside, coz his is still best. Arrrrgggghhhh...

When I get my Masters degree (which will not be in Theology, mind you), I will show this Weasel...

Does this make me I. R. Baboon? :P

Tolerance and Paper Cranes

You learn something new everyday. I attended a peace forum ( http://archive.inq7.net/view.php?db=1&story_id=35246 ) where Filipino Muslim women and a Japanese hibakusha or atomic bomb survivor shared their experience in keeping the peace in their communities, and even though I could barely imagine what they went through, I could sympathize with their cause.

However, I must say that I am cynical with all these peace talks or forums or exchanges, as I feel that they have little impact, especially in Muslim Filipino affairs.

The common man on the street would think that a Filipino Muslim (or Moro, as they call themselves now --- whatever happened to the negative connotation?) would be prone to violence. Some have been quick to associate them with the Abu Sayyaf, pirates of the South, or else hard-nosed salesmen --- i have been warned many times to be careful dealing with pearl merchants in Greenhills. Muslims have a bad rep all right, aggravated by the US-spread terrorism scare, but the impression is hardly inaccurate, don't you think?

Just last week, the news was of the Muslim Congresswoman who went wild crazy with her bread knife lurching dangerously at their caterer who was not able to correctly inform her that the pansit she ate contained pork. Not exactly a peaceful way to express one's faith, is it?

A Moro woman explained that indeed this is very unfortnate. How the caterer can be so insensitive to the Muslim woman's faith... and how rash the Muslim woman was with her reaction. In one breath, one woman, pronounced Islam as a religion of peace and how there were a lot of misconceptions about it and how these people to people interactions foster a general understanding and appreciation of each culture's unique features, and then say during the open forum that... "mabuti na lang at nasa Manila yung caterer, dahil kng nangyari yan sa Marawi... mapapatay siya." Ah. Okay.

Apparently, there are still a lot of things to do in this issue. Poverty has been pointed as the culprit, along with ignorance and apathy. How people just dont care. How prejudice and discrimination prevail despite the efforts... Probably because people are more concerned with their soap-box pronouncements rather than living as an example...more than talking the talk, they have to walk the walk. For people to go past the stereotype, you have to make an effort to show them that you are not the stereotype.

How can you reconcile such a rich culture amidst rich natural resources be mired in conflict and poverty? How? Everybody concerned, I think, must go beyond dances and paper cranes.

Sigh. What do you think about this issue?

E-enka-Enka Kasi Eh

I will never live this down. The officer from Philamlife is making sure I don't. I will go down in Philamlife history as the person who brought a whole gaggle of okama in a venue supposedly dedicated to classical music! Aaaccck!

Well, not me exactly...it was the old Japanese boys' club who were running the show. But since I was the person who contacted Philamlife and it was like a Filipino to Filipino kind of relating... Aaaaccck! I have learned my lesson to always... always cover my back.

That is what we get for being such Winnie the Poohs. Sticking our hands in hunnee jars, which may also be bee homes as well. Oh well.

A Brush with National Artists

The "enlightening" experience of attending the Arturo Luz exhibition opening last Wednesday was almost upstaged by the sorry state of our family car/ fx, Hot Mama.

Before Hot Mama, allow me to gush over the event that was the Luz exhibition at the CCP.

Because I was starved for any kind of action and excitement, I have made a pact with myself to do one new thing a day, or else to go to an event or something every other day (coz I go to the gym and work out the rest of the days after work). Last Wednesday, I didnt have gym so I scoured through the invites and decided to watch a screening of Ibsen's cinema version of "Enemy of the People".

Why not? It was a free event (movie!) with COCKTAILS! hehehe. Seems like an intelligent, cosmopolitan way to spend a Wednesday night. So, I was all gungho for Ibsen, when CCP called up to invite us to the Arturo Luz opening. This opening is part of a series of Luz openings which started at the NCCA, then at Galerie Joaquin, National Museum, the CCP , the Ayala Museum then the Ateneo Art Gallery.

I was also invited to the NCCA opening but I didn't want to see my sister who is working there (I am not on speaking terms with her at the moment --- yes, she stays at the same house as I am), so I had to forego plans to soak in some abstract art for another day. Anyway, the NCCA exhibit will probably be until the end of the month.

Cultural immersion aside, I was very curious why Arturo Luz, a naturally aloof ("mailap") artist has agreed to the social whirl-a-gig of these openings. And the kicker to CCP's pitch was the acrobatic stint on Luz's paper clip sculpture installation.

The concept for the CCP openings was exciting. There will be six events in one night to take place in different areas in the CCP --- all paying homage and performing around Luz's works. The first performance was a dance performance choreographed by Gerald Madrid and executed by Tiffany Mangulabnan and PJ Rebullida, using Luz's "Black Form, White Space" at the Little Theater Lobby as inspiration. It was okay but not really spectacular. The dancers were competent but the choreography was a bit tired. Not bad but nothing to write about... so....

Next piece was an improvisation by the Tanghalang Pilipino Actors Company played in front of the more lively pieces done by Luz. I think I saw this piece in the performance....

Bagong Taon by Arturo Luz. (1997)

Improvisation as an exercise is well and good. Entertaining even. But this was a performance! In honor of a National Artist. There should have been more effort exerted by the director of this bit.

These set of Luz's paintings were of human images and experiences, which thankfully were not so abstract that I was able to understand and appreciate.

However, TP was not able to fully capture the vitality of these works. What I got from the performances were an amalgamation of grunts, howls and screams to provide the soundtrack to the jumbled frantic contortions of the ensemble. Tsk tsk tsk.

I can let this transgression pass though. I am still a TP fan. It's just that I don't think it was a good idea to just wing it for a Luz opening. Yun lang.

Third on the list was the prints/imprints exhibit opening of works by Luz as well as recent works by other artists inspired or influenced by Luz.

Now, this was where it got very abstract. I saw Luz's prints --- black on black! and entitled, Kyoto # 1, 2... what the? Did that mean that he found Kyoto dark? Better brush up on my art appreciation/ history. Most of the time, I think abstractionists are people who just want a shortcut to be called artists. Because a few well-placed scribbles on canvas may just be construed as art. O di ba? Bongga!

But Luz is different. He is a master. E di ba, National Artist siya? He is deliberate with his strokes, even exacting. Can't say I blame the artists who look up to him and his career. Of the other artists featured alongside Luz, I liked Alcazaren's "Personages" the most. It was this bold wall painting in red, black and white. I can almost see it as a wall in my future home --- in my living room/ family room. Hahahaah!

And because my boss was antsy already to leave, I geared up and put on my game face and started introducing him to people. Kebs na kung kilala nila ako o hindi... as if! I mean, these happenings are primed for networking! That night, I was able to hobnob, as in chika, with man, Arturo Luz himself! Pero that was not the first time cos I first met him at his home. O di ba? His beautiful calm abode which looked very familiar --- parang PETA Theater Center!

National Artists Ramon Obusan and Ben Cabrera were there. Cultural heads were also present at nag-chikahan din kami --- does "hi ma'am/sir! kamusta na kayo?" count?

Wasn't able to stay for the acrobatic finale. It was getting late and I wanted to go home and eat and put my feet up!

Imagine my irritation when coming home, I picked up Hot Mama from the Shangri-la parking lot, where I left her, and she won't start up! Just a pathetic click. And then nothing!

What a way to end the night. Just when you're up, something just might bring you down.

Nesting

Settling in a predictable routine is reassuring and calming. I have worked out at the gym thrice last week (and hope to get my membership' worth the following months); completed my backlog -- even tidied up my workspace!; and successfully opened a workshop last Saturday. If only I were able to attend my Nihongo classes...

This is a good time to catch up on things that should be straightened out. Like long overdue applications -- for travel and learning. Thank goodness for resourceful friends who have pointed my way to brighter paths! Mwah! Now to go back to the drawing, er... writing, uhm, board and update the good old resume.

Despite my months-long travail over my pigsty of a room, I have not really done the right thing and vacuumed the dustbunnies away. Busy ako. There's not too much of a motivation to push me off my lazy arse and rearrange the layout. Since my yapping last month, I have changed my linens and kinda cleared the floor of my plastic and paper bags. Out of frustration, "Manang" has also kinda cleared my closet and put more unwearable stuff in. I would really really like to organize --- as in clear, sort, store and send away stuff. Better to usher in the new year with a clean room and a clear mind. Oh well, we'll see what happens.

This weekend, we went to the last day of the furniture sale at Megamall. We have been craving a major living room change and even attributed the frequent ghostly vibes to the very dark interiors of this room. There were a lot of wood furniture, which have the same design in mind --- zen/ asian. I guess, it is the in thing these days. Oh well, good enough for us coz we bought us a new couch! Now there is no turning back on fixing the homestead...

Song in My Mind

You know when you hear a song and you could swear the composer/ singer read your mind... I love love love this song!

KEANE LYRICS

Somewhere Only We Know


I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

[break]

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Break Na Tayo

When I mentioned to a supplier that I will take a leave tomorrow, he mentioned, "bakit? ang hina mo naman? parang ilang araw ka lang nagtrabaho, mag-be-break ka na?!" I had the mind to put down the receiver on him (well, i did pero sabi ko, "o sigesige na!") and vow never to get his services again. Not a very bad idea. Malapit na siya.

Try working for one whole week (and some) straight. I woke up this morning thinking it was a Sunday. I was that out of the loop. Even if I can work straight up for weeks, I wouldn't. Hmmmm... I think I'll hold our payment for a couple days...(rubs hands together).

I was just thinking of things I could do now that I am going on leave tomorrow.

1. Nihongo wo benkyoshimasu. Because it really sucks when you're the only one who can't get it. We have class again on Saturday and I really hope I don't stare blankly when sensei chirps her questions. I hope I get to chirp back.

2. Once and for all, clean my room. I have been meaning to tidy up cos it has become a dumping ground of sorts for all things paper and plastic. I should really clean and organize my closet before I buy anything. I have loads of clothes already. Gotta make space.

3. Have things that need to be fixed fixed. Like my DVD player. I just bought new movies and series and I could not even view them! I need to see an appliance doctor who can service cheap. If worst comes to worse, then I would have no choice but to kaimasu. Also, I need to get some trousers altered. Got the pants two months ago, and they're still in the shopping bag.

4. Read! Meandered at the Book Sale and National Book Store sale bins and got myself new reads. Gotta find time to read 'em. Before those books, I gotta finish the "Life of Pi".

5. Get seriously massaged before the red time seeps through. It has been soooooo long since I've last gotten myself rubbed and kneaded.

Only 5 items to do? I'm surprised. I usually have a long list ... Anyway, whether the things I meant to do gets done, remains to be seen.

Been A Long Time Coz I've Been Busy Vegging

Been a long time since my last post. In between getting paranoid --- i mean, fit --- and the demands of "artists", the little time i have left, i devote to sleeping and watching Korean dramas.

Since September, I have completed 3, yes, 3 Korean series and I 1/2 American program. They are:


Alone in Love starring Son Ye Jin & Gam Woo Sung

Why couldn't Filipino dramas be as sophisticated and low-key as this gem? I guess because everybody watching TV nowadays expect a showdown, be it the musical or the dramatic kind. And there are little of that in this series... just toned-down acting. Everyday stuff all of us have to go through. Like going to work. Coming back home. Realizing you're alone. That kind. Sigh. I read that this is an adaptation of a Japanese novel. Hey, maybe I should start adapting stuff from the pile beside my bed...

Tree of Heaven starring Lee Wan and Park Shin Hye

Now this was the opposite of restraint. It was like watching a Filipino drama. Misunderstood boy meets sweet girl. Sweet girl loses her parents, her home and is pushed to poverty and abject humiliation. Boy turns into powerful gangster. And... well, you know how this turns out. They both die.

I became intrigued with the series when the characters were speaking Japanese. And Park Shin Hye, if she's the Korean actress I think she is, is good at languages. She speaks good English and of course, Korean. And in this show, she speaks Japanese. Talent! Now Lee Wan. He looks like a technical director I know, only Lee Wan has a greater looking body. Yun lang.

Beautiful Days starring Lee Byung Hun and Choi Ji Woo

Like all other Korean dramas I've watched, I could remember particular scenes but rarely their endings. Honestly, I don' t remember if Choi Ji Woo's character survived her cancer but I remember the scene shown left.

And like I always say, life is too short to watch movies kung makikita mo lang pangit. Bring on the cuties and the beefcakes! hahaha. (Ganyan na ganyan ang karma. This is why I am relegated to playing nanny roles on TV.) The real reason I watched this 24 episode drama is Lee Byung Hun. Siya lang.

His smile can make me swoon. And he wasn't even smiling at me. Sigh. His voice is so deep and rich, it sounds so sexy. Ahahahaaa! I am in Ajumma mode again. Down girl!

But really, show me a man's man! Show me Lee Byung Hun, NOW!

Grey's Anatomy starring Ellen Pompeo, Patrick Dempsey, Sandra Oh, Katherine Heigl, Isaiah Washington, Justin Chambers and a lot more!

I have not enjoyed an American TV series since... Sex and the City. Six Feet Under came close but it got too morose. But Grey's is just right. It's real-life poignant drama, what with surgery no less. It's kinda goofy, but not Ally McBeal proportions. It's got eye-candy, which is really important. And the writing's good. While watching some episodes, I thought, "Blood, brain, guts... no sweat...I should've been in the medical profession." But then the characters work 36 hour shifts! Then I go back to... I am great the way I am, a cultural worker.

I haven't finished Grey's Anatomy yet, though. Why? you may ask? It's because I'm writing this entry, dumdum!

Karoshimimasho

Or (very) loosely translated (according to my internal japanese-english dictionary), "let's work ourselves to death".

I have high blood pressure. At 33, I am Hypertensive Stage 1. 140/110. Yikes. That IS high, isn't it?

Now, I can count myself honorary Japanese who have coined the term "karoshi" which means "death by overwork". It might seem amusing now, but the episode leading to this discovery was very sobering.

I usually get these killer migraines before and after my period. No biggie, I thought coz I chalk it to my hormones. Hormones are the culprit. So when I got this nagging, throbbing, persistent knocking in my head, I really didn't think much of it. I blamed my super late day and nights and the usual irritations that projects bring... cos we were setting up this exhibit. I told myself I would pop me a painkiller, like I always do and sleep...

It was a small miracle that I was able to function last Wednesday despite the discomfort. The veins in my head were pounding and I was feeling nauseous and ready to puke anytime... and to me, that's a big thing. It is rare that I puke (cos I don't want to waste good food. hehehe), unlike my sister who tickles her tonsils to relieve herself when she gets these migraines before and after her period. See? We have the same predilection.

When I arrived at home, I went straight for my bed and tried to sleep away the pain. When my sister offered to get me a Dolfenal (at last!) for my pain, and which I quickly took, the reaction was almost instant! (For the queasy, bear with me... this is relevant) I puked my breakfast (squash & leafy things) and lunch (Jollibee burger), liquefied! Exorcist proportions! And then, (this is the scary part) I puked liquid pa rin, pero now, mixed with blood. Blood!!! Not in streaks, like phlegm, but liquid!

My gosh! I was just watching Season 1 of "Grey's Anatomy" and bloody excretion is not good...

So anyway, I have high blood already which I am taking Norvasc for. Never have I imagined that I will be taking a hypertensive drug --- I thought I should take aspirin, but not Norvasc! And I had blood tests and x-rays taken to diagnose the bloody puke.

Which brings me back to karoshi. Before our activity opened, I was with my boss. He told me that I had "hijime" or "hiimeji" or something that sounded like that which meant loyalty ot dedication to work. I jokingly told him it was martyrdom (and silently told myself, katangahan), and seriously told him, I just wanted to have good work done.

Now I wonder. Having this condition instantly gives you perspective. That work is work and just a means for you to enjoy life. Now I will leave work at 530 or at the latest 6pm. I will limit my red meat, junk food (full of salt!) and fatty meals. Consume more veggies, fruits, healthy seafood. Since I am not a smoker and a (very) occasional social drinker, I will instead, concentrate on getting enough exercise and sleep.

Wish me luck! Gambatte kudasai!

How Not to Date

Thought I'd collect love karma when I arranged a blind date between my theater friend and my cousin. It was supposed to be an easy night. I mean, these kiddies were in their mid-30s already and were (probably) no strangers to these awkward social situations.

My cousin, a decent-looking guy (if I may say so), was looking for a date and a potential relationship. A friend, who is talented and pretty, belabored her non-existent lovelife. As I can truly connect with their plights, I quickly rang them up and scheduled a date.

Then comes the lesson on dating dont's:

#1 It is okay to have someone arrange your blind date. But for goodness' sake, don't bring the Arranger along.

Especially if it would mean an odd numbered group. I tagged along (yes, I know, I shouldn't have) but it was because of my friend's strong request to keep the date informal. But because I am the last person who would be smooth in these matters, I sometimes felt like a jewish matchmaker... (you know, my cousin is a singer blahblah... my friend is a great dancer... ). I am also grateful for my two lovies but when I am the person addressed by both parties, tis not good...

#2 The Arranger will not arrange the whole thing.

Yup, I coordinated the date like a meeting. Date, venue and activity. Even if this was effective, this was not a good way for the two prospects to get to know each other. I wished that I could've just given my cousin her number so he can contact her in his style. Also the Arranger, though armed with good intentions, cannot make up for lapses in her taste for movies.

#3 Do not pick a vague-titled movie like "Snakes on a Plane".

I take partial responsibility for presenting the movie, but the choice was left to my friend. You know that she's quite profound because she thought that the movie was about traitors in flight! I thought that the film would be a winner as B-movie gore is always entertaining (to me, at least) but my friend covered her eyes each time she would hear snakes hissing or slithering... Sayang naman ang movie ticket niya! What could have been shared sympathy for the poor pathetic passengers was lost.
Anyway, one good thing with this movie date was that I enjoyed it!

#4 Do not schedule a date with a sleep-deficient call-center agent.

That's my cousin. Although he tried his best to be valiant and carry an energetic conversation, alas, he was a bit low-bat and reserving his energy for his 1am shift. Also how can he communicate intimately when my friend was not looking at him!

#5 Eye Contact means a lot.

It just doesn't mean "I-cant-take-my-eyes-off-you" but it also means interest, however polite. I feel sorry for my cousin when my friend was not looking at him and addressing him as she told her stories.

I got a lot of dating tips alright. I just don't know if I will be able to use them though. But if all dates have "Snakes on a Plane" and salmon something as appetizer (at Segafredo!) in the agenda, then I can't wait!!! Bring it on!

I Look Like Bae Yong Jun!

Unofficial Report of Noh in Baguio

The Noh group, Nohgakushi (noh master) Naohiko Umewaka with Kidlat Tahimik (center) --- call him Kid. Kidlat Tahimik

After 5 days and 4 nights of (almost) non-stop rain, I am back from Baguio.

I was an unwilling escort of the group I accompanied when I left Friday but I slowly enjoyed their company and actually missed them (although not a whole lot!) when they left me behind. Oh okay, maybe just for 3 minutes. Because after they left for Manila, I went to another meeting for another project. Sigh. Such is life.

The project was a success, save for small annoyances like last-minute equipment requests and demanding diva moments; but all bearable. The group was understanding enough and tried to adapt to whatever circumstances were presented them.

I have enjoyed this trip as I was able to meet a lot of new people who I wouldn't have met in my usual projects, since they were mostly from the academe. I met Kidlat Tahimik and his son, Kabu (Kabunian, for long) go to their crazy restaurant-vegetarian bar and even to their wild residence.

My only gripe is that I was the token photographer of the group. Ergo, I am not included in most of the photos. Thus I fulfilled my photo-op-less stay in Baguio by taking my own photos inside my room.

Friends, behold my new hairdo.

The new hairdo is not really so new. I remember having this hairstyle when I was supposed to graduate in college. Exactly 10 years ago! Hehehe.

Anyway, after the Noh group left, I was able to enjoy my solitary silence and enjoy the foggy sights at the SM Baguio. I also bought 4 magazine back-issues and stuffed myself with Max's Chicken. To this time, I don't want to eat chicken for a long time.

A couple of hours later, the Budo (budu--- voodoo, sabi daw ni University Vice President) demonstration group came in.

The event was fun, although there could have been more audience but the mere fact that there were no classes, drove the attendance to be less than 500. Still it was a decent turnout.

The Budo group was composed of mostly men, save for a girl (nan-sai desuka? niju-sai desu.) who was the direct descendant of the Takenouchi family -- experts of the martial arts of sticks and tying -- in short, props. The girl, Michiko, was quite popular with the boys in the audience. However, I had my eye on the young virile male of the group, Akira.

Hay naku. Lola Asim mode na naman ako...Anyway, I hope I can join the next out-of-town trips... pati out-of-country of course!

Shall We Jinx It?

Got a call from a friend of my cousin. Actually not really a friend. More like an acquaintance. But they're kinda familiar with each other to arrange blind dates and stuff.

Anyway, this guy texted me when I was in Baguio last Saturday. I had the mind not to reply to him because, my goodness, he took his sweet time calling me from summer! And when I did reply, he answered super late, like a day late. My goodness.

Now he texted this morning and we kinda agree to meet next week. What day or time or place, who knows. But to quote him, "next week it is :)"

Killer Headache

Migraines suck. I have a killer headache which started at the back left side of my head and it has progressed to the the space above and between my right eye. Silent neurotic that I am, I already promise to search for other symptoms of stroke, high blood pressure, infection or... brain cancer.

This is super morbid. But this headache is really the pits.

Going home early to rest and even prepare for my weekend in Baguio should be at the top of my list tonight. But nooooo... I am having my haircut. I will be accompanying a group with their lecture-demonstrations in Baguio and then assisting in our Japanese martial arts demonstration, also in Baguio. I will be meeting a lot of unfamiliar people for the first time and the first thing i don't want them to see is my crazy hair! It is called one's crowning glory for a reason... I have always been a lowly peon then.

All this negativity. Argh. It is because of this headache!

Okay, looking at the papers, I am anticipating to watch some movies again. This is a good thing as I am not so excited with the movie options presented to me these days... unless I control the screenings (at home).

Movies I would like to see on the Big Screen:
1. Kubrador - I have read a lot of glowing reviews about the movie and even received a text message endorsing it from Tata Nanding!
2. My Super Ex-Girlfriend - Funny and perfect for PMS
3. The Devil Wears Prada - It has Meryl Streep and killer fashion; eye candy that is not too brainless.

Today is a slow day at work, I am just counting the minutes before the clock strikes sayonara for the day and i'm off to my hair appointment. Still have a headache.

FYI: We are 5 Girls

A Moment of Science: Girls getting prettier, boys not so much

Good-looking couples are 36 percent more likely than ugly couples to have female offspring.

Just wanted to share that tidbit and gloat -- for we are 5 girls!!! Ahaha. It's a slow day. Bear with me.

Weekend Ironies

While a friend of mine is mourning the passing of her father, an urn of ashes in her arms, I am with mine, sharing Max's Chicken at Tiendesitas and relishing our time out.

We Have it Good

I am wary when things go my way. It means I better enjoy it while I still can for everything can just change in an instance.

Midori Hirota, a Japanese artist based in Jogjakarta, has been witness to the idyllic artist existence in the culturally rich region of Indonesia and seen how a disastrous event like an earthquake, can happen without warning, transforming a promising artist into a displaced, disabled person.

Me, Midori Hirota & Alma Quinto

She opened an exhibit at the Green Papaya last week called "Back of Affection". These are photos of her work displayed at the gallery.

The figurines denote the people which inhabit our world. Maybe from the vantage point of the untrained eye, we are all the same. But the Creator made efforts to make each figurine special by giving it unique identifying quirks, however small it is. This concept is carried further in the next to-do by the viewer.

The exchange of small personal effects in exchange of the figurine represent the offering of oneself to get the trust of another. It shows an investment in getting "a piece" of the other person. In exchange for my figurine, I left my nailcutter. It was such a negligible object, but I felt somehow hesitant to part with it. Even though the figurine was more special, it was hard parting with a thing that was mine for so long.

Nice concept eh?

I admire Midori more for what she did for the earthquake victims in Jogjakarta. Here is a link to her site : www.midoriart.exblog.jp . What she did, in a nutshell, is employ an organized, efficient and effective way of delivering relief to the victims of the Jogja-earthquake. She has initiated a relief operation which benefited many villagers, and has now enough money to have 10 bamboo day-care centers built for the children of Jogjakarta.

Stars Shine Down

As luck would have it and as my stars have predicted, I was expecting to enter some kind of a busy period. With the resignation of a colleague, some type of work reassignments were due. Or so I thought.

Alas, the big project that I thought would be assigned to me was given to another co-worker. Which I think is okay as it would enable me to do other stuff --- concentrate on my other projects to the point of micromanagement (hehehe), figure out the time and resources to work out at the gym or get fit, and basically get my s**t together (maybe even for my papers to Canada).

Yesterday at mass, I thought I heard God send me a message through the priest. That each one of us have to climb our mountains to see and get to know God... that the hike will not be easy and fraught with obstacles, but the rewards will be fulfilling. I likened that sermon to my inner arguments for and against just even filing that immigration application.

So maybe, this time is an opportunity to just focus and regain my composure. I need it.

Now for that weekend in Bangkok or Hongkong.

Dreary, Thy Name is Death

It is still raining and I can't shake this dreary feeling. A co-worker has already filed his resignation and he has some projects that he still has to handle, and guess who will take up the cudgels? Moi.

Sigh. Tis okay with me. Unlike others who balk at the "additional" load. I have been hearing some unabashed whining how they shouldn't be doing the things which I have originally been doing. And I didn't realize how unequal the distribution of work until some it was taken away from me.

I am gearing for this work change and am up to it.

Anyway, my dad just arrived from the province yesterday and we had a happy dinner of shrimp and marang! I love marang. If not for the technical glitch at home, I wanted to post an entry entirely devoted to marang.

We were a big happy family and everything seemed right in the world, until I received my college friend's message that her dad died.

The third news of death. Another mass card.

Not Accustomed to Customs

Got home early. Might as well for all the grievance that the trip to customs gave me. Although, come to think of it... it wasn't so bad --- because we had money. What if we didn't have funds?

This facilitation thing for or Japanese artist is really the affairs of our grantee. I am kinda pissed because as far as we are concerned, these things --- negotiating with the gallery, preparing the exhibit, and soothing artist's feelings --- are not the jurisdiction of the grant-giver. Sheesh. Things are really mixed-up.

And there are things that I have already missed --- or so my boss thinks. He assigned me to prepare a flyer which needed some information which could not be given to me for 2 weeks because a co-worker was absent for 2 days, and then next the other boss was absent for the whole week! Eh sa kanila ko lang ma-coconfirm yung mga schedules and titles! Add to that, my co-worker is preparing to resign. The same co-worker who is handling that particular project.

I am trying to pooh-pooh this matter at the moment, but I am sure, it will be another bout of adjustment. I hope that his post will be filled soon as he is handling quite a number of projects.

Sheesh. Back to customs.

When I collected the packages at the post office --- all 8 boxes --- I was expecting a nightmare. I mean, I've always thought that it was customary at the customs to have under-the-table dealings. Maybe it was the way i dressed ( I purposely overdressed --- thank goodness I had my poncho) that I think the people there paid attention. True I had to walk a block to have my i.d. photocopied (at a dank, dark corner at the lto), and walked back to collect a fax message from the post office customer care (thankfully, for free), but all in all, it was bearable.

The exhibit better be good.

Twilight Zone

I had a hard time convincing my sisters to watch the Manhattan Transfer with me. With the Black Eyed Peas and Pussycat Dolls concerts coming up, the MT seemed so jurassic and therefore uncool to them.

Vince called me one afternoon to invite me, actually to ask if I would like to buy a ticket (P2500! more than my usual ticket range) to the Manhattan Transfer Concert. I was thrilled! Now I can watch the concert with someone who appreciates this music!

And you know what else is kinda from the twilight zone? I was to watch it with Eula Valdez! Zsazsa Zsaturnnah showbiz celebrity!

Aside from the familiar musical strains (Shakers Song! Smile Again! The Boy from New York! Smile Again! and Twilight Zone!), there was the added novelty of a well-known personality with our group of 5.

Eula (yup, we're close --- she asked me for suggested over-the-counter sleeping pills as she couldnt sleep due to intense teeth-bleaching-laser pain) was very nice and down to earth. Really likeable and kinda goofy and real. I wonder if she's like that in her showbiz world coz if she is, then she's kinda fodder for the media vultures around her. I guess not, then.

Oh well, another photo opportunity missed.

What I Missed Blogging About

Haven't been up to blogging lately. Was soooooo busy with work that I wasnt even able to blog about the Condors.


The Condors is the Japanese all-male contemporary dance group which we brought to Manila last month. Like all projects, the schedule was hectic and gruelling. Late nights and barely enough time to eat --- I actually lost some weight over a period of 5 days.

The run was not without its share of small angsts. From heavy-handed, control freaks, to supposed language gaps, to last minute lechon and guitar runs, to inner circle disco jaunts... it was a blast.

Even met Andrew E, Dice and K9 and DJ Bell's hiphop posse. I better get me a luggable digital camera... Too many photo ops missed...

The guys (well, some of them)were cute and sweet --- "bumpy-san, join the workshop! you know you can do it...", "bumpy-san, let's go dancing!" but the highlight of the whole project (for me, at least) was when we brought the last batch of the group to the airport... and the member I like most... kissed me goodbye!!!


Not so exceptional in the pic above, but he's quite nice -- not cocky, seems very level-headed (maybe because he's a highschool teacher, or so i heard), and most especially, can speak English.


The audience had a grand time. They'd better enjoy it. We had a crowd management nightmare before the house opened. Wowowee angels seemed to dance before my eyes. Not funny.


We wanted to have a cool Eurotechno party thing afterwards, like those raves. Unfortunately, techno and hiphop don't mix... hehehe.

I left the event sated but actually begging for more stimulation ;) I wanted to go dancing with the group but because I was with the manang squad, was forced to forego any fun social interactions. Sigh.

Reminiscing about Singapore

It's been three weeks already since Singapore. The Condors have come and went. The credit card bills are already due. And my boss is waiting for my report on what I did in Singapore. What did I do exactly?

When he dangled Singapore as a reward, I didn't think it would be this so whirlwind. I would have wanted to see more performances in the Singapore Arts Fest but because I booked late already, I was just able to catch "Geisha".

I enjoyed this trip for the adventure. I mean, I always went out of the country following somebody else's itinerary. Now, even though there was still some arranged meetings, I was pretty much on my own. It was a thrill booking my plane and show tickets online. (Proof that I dont get out a lot.) I also realized how I have to polish on my social graces. I'm really clueless in carrying some conversations. Although, some people I readily open up to (like those Singaporean cab drivers)... I pretty much clam up when there's some kind of expectations that is set (Ong Keng Sen).

Guided with the spirit of adventure, already in my flat slides (no high heels) and an all blue getup (blue is the universal color of Saturday), I set out to explore Singapore, a country that was "as small as Makati". The plan was 1) Go to the museums (the Singapore Arts museum) in particular; 2) Ride to Orchard Avenue --- get some quickie shopping done; 3) get some Chinatown sights; 4) mosey on down to the Indian district; if possible go to the Dutch quarters; and 5) catch Geisha at the Victoria Theater. I had with me a map and my trusty security bag. I could do it.

After getting traditional breakfast (just bread/ butter and coffee!) at a nearby cafe, the Kaffe Dian --- o di ba? Parang nasa makati nga lang. Dian daw o? --- I tried to find my way to the Singapore Arts Museum. It seemed so near the place where I was staying. A couple of blocks walk. That was around 1030 am. It felt like I was walking around and around, in the sweltering heat! I was drenched in sweat and lost. I still had a lot of places to go to on my list... where was the damned museum!

At 1130, I finally found my way to the SAM, which was partly hidden because of the surrounding construction going on. I was so glad i found it finally that I wasn't really able to soak in the artwork. I was like okay, good, Filipino artist, okay, okay. Next location! I took in the good contemporary asian art collection of the museum (they have excellent taste for putting in a lot of Filipinos' works) but was not able to reflect (reflect daw o?) on the meanings or the statements of the works. I was really so gung-ho to get to my next pit stop (ala Amazing Race) that I wasnt able to relish the whole experience. Although I would like to say that I saw a really raw, badly presented exhibit on 3d architectural studies which I thought was a mistake on SAM's part.It looked unfinished and random --- like kalat that was not set aside.
Walked for a bit and consulted my map. According to it and the street signs, I am near Orchard Road already. Lesson #1. If travelling and in doubt, try to take public transportation. My swelling corns and calluses should have signalled me to take the MRT already but as I was conditioned to soak in the culture and the peoples' vibes, I thought, "walking is a good introduction to a locality". Although when I see those Singaporeans drive up in their luxury cars, I miss my trusty FX.

My gosh, it was like I walked from my house to Taytay. Ganon kalayo. Shet. Ubos ang ganda ko. Shopping was my objective in Orchard Road but with the way I am, all I wanted to do was lie down and sleep! I looked around for Dodoy's mie goreng, Havaianas for Joy and another pair of designer slippers for Vicky. I wanted to buy clothes and stuff but the prices were so ridiculous ( I could get more tasteful wares in Glorietta at less the price or same) that I withheld from shopping anymore stuff. Instead, I gorged on food.

Which was about time as it was around 2 pm already when I buckled down for my first real meal of the day. Had the recommended Laksa at My Mum's Cuisine, which reminded me of Tom Yang soup. After that, larga ulit.

Oh I had another mission going to Orchard. I read in the brochures that Borders, the biggest bookstore in the city, is on that road. Woohoo. When I consulted my map I found out that it was almost at the end of the other side. Did that stop me? No way. I just kept trudging on like a soldier on a mission. When I finally saw Borders, I felt relieved but suddenly thought, Powerbooks and Fully Booked is even more exciting than this bookstore! Bought American magazines (smart. I shouldve bought Japanese ones)to read with me at Starbucks. Amen. Finally, food I knew. Wherever one is, Starbucks is dependably good.

I quickly chucked all other itineraries to go home and prepare for the Geisha show at the Victoria. I was to meet a Filipino university professor, who wanted to do some Arts fest prospecting for her production. Well, I met her and more! I met the kind colleage of my boss who reserved my hotel room, some Filipino friends from drama school, my college professor, a Japanese lights designer and a Filipino writer/ poet. Hay, it's like I never left home.

The play was good na rin. I leave the critics to lambast it and I will reserve my comments for my report to my boss --- it is still due, you know. All I noticed was there was a lot of muffled snores in the area where I was seated.

After the show, I got together with the Filipino contingent. Had beer and cheese and strawberry something at the Fullerton. Social!

End of Day 2.

Singapore at La-La-Last!

Good thing my flight was noon. This left me with enough time to bide my time and still shoot the breeze with my pet sister, Joyjoy. She accompanied me to the airport, being extra nice --- thinking I wold buy her a pair of Havaianas! Sneaky girl, ain't she? Anyway, I appreciated her company. I don't necessarily care for big send-offs; just make it warm.

I am so glad that I took the Jetstar airline,which has its terminal in NAIA, instead of the Tiger Air, which is all the way to Pampanga. When I checked in, the line was so long, and it wasn't even 10 o'clock yet. Well, goody for me. At least I was there early. After checking in, I went inside and shopped for toiletries. Smart, huh? Stuff I bought was like doubly priced. Anyway, was prepared for the consequences of my laziness...

The Jetstar Asia is a nice clean carrier. It smells new and fresh. I was expecting quite differently and was so pleased that it is unlike the budget airline nightmare I was anticipating: people scurrying to secure their best seats; musty air; dark/ dim lighting --- just like in a cargo plane... yikes.

After more than 3 hours, finally landed in Changi Airport. The famed airport, which some say is state of the art and boasts of first world amenities. I admit, the airport is spacious, airy and relaxing. None of the sweaty (i know, or airports are airconditioned, but I swear, all the human effort used to make our airport run...)and crowded terminals we've been acquainted with. Checking out was a breeze even though it was my first time there.

I went to the Singapore Tourism booth, which looked like a store. I felt a little intimidated at first walking in, coz, what if they ask for payment for all the brochures I would like to ask? I sound like a country bumpkin, don't I? And also, I was very wary of Singaporeans as they have quite a reputation for being not that accommodating --- especially to Filipinos. So was again, pleasantly surprised when I was warmly attended to by the old man from the STA booth. He was very helpful and congenial and gave me lots of free literature on Singapore! wooohooo!

By then, I haven't had lunch yet so I moseyed to a Burger King --- which I don't usually frequent in the Philippines, except when I'm with mommy and they want discounted burgers --- and ordered a bacon cheeseburger meal which cost me... S$6! Ulp! Thats like PhP180!!!

I catch myself and give me a pep talk not to mentally transpose Sing dollars to pesos. Grab my burger take out and take an airport taxi to my hotel, the Metropole.

Again, these Singaporeans are a friendly lot. At least, those I have been in contact with. The driver was very nice. We talked about Singapore events, the Singapore arts festival --- the reason I was there, the indifference of Singaporeans of these events, the importance of money in their lives (well, sino bang hindi?!!), why the Philippines is not promoted properly in Singapore, and his take on why Singapore is neat as it is ("it's easy for Singapore, because we are such a small country. The Philippines is larger. So it might take some time..." his words --- taxi driver insight). Like I said, he's a nice man. Or maybe he's just doing his job.

After I get my taxi receipt, I head to Metropole, which according to my driver, is a quaint hotel, which I understand is a euphemism for old. I wondered why their brochure showed an illustration of the hotel, rather than the actal photo. When I arrived at its doorstep, I knew.

Throughout my stay, the taxis I've ridden had trouble locating where Metropole is. Which is bad, as it is just next to the Raffles Hotel, and all those cool places. But the taxis thought the Metropole was just a restaurant and not a hotel. Hmmm... Oh, well. At least, my room faced the street! Ahahaha! I had no view!!! Just the street below me and the building in front :) What the heck? I had no plans to spend a lot of time inside anyway.

Thank goodness for arrangements made by my boss's former colleague, I was already guaranteed a room. After checking in, I ate my lunch at 4 pm!!! And made a quick inspection of the room and its "amenities". From its literature and website, the Metropole prides itself as a businessman's hotel, accessible to the places wherever these businessmen would like to conduct business. It is all true. It is very near the malls, the cultural and artistic sites (Esplanade, public library, Singapore art museum)and the rides, there's a bus stop in its corners and a 5 minute walk to the MRT. That it is a businessman's stop is also no joke as I was quick to note that the hotel didn't have a hairdryer! Gasp! What about my crazy, temperamental hair?!!

So, after getting over that fact, I called on a college acquaintance of mine, who's been working in Singapore for some years. She's working at an international development agency (that shall remain nameless) and I wanted to visit her to see what i was missing. hehehe. It's coz she offered her place during my stay in Singapore. And I passed it up.

Not that I'm all fussy and all, but the company was paying anyway; the Metropole had a very convenient location; and lastly, she had a flatmate who seemed like an asshole.

So anyway, had to pay my courtesies, S$6 in taxi fare and I was at her doorstep. Not bad... she lived in a nice condo with a good view of the city. expat living. I like. we moshed on tasteless pasta and cheese and wine over her whining over office politics and job assignments... i mean, if i hear another "you're so lucky your company brought you to Singapore for an observation trip - i'm so tired from all this jetting around Europe, tomorrow I'll be in the Netherlands" shit, I am just going to yawn.

I was so relieved that she had another appointment. Whew! I shared a taxi cab with her back to the city. She offered to meet up the following day but well, nothing was finalized. I was free!!!

I wandered towards the area where the kind taxi driver pointed a big bookstore was. Well, the mall nearest the Metropole was already closed, it being 9pm and all. But I walked further the streets and found myself in a bustling mall! Yeehhaaa! It was open till midnight! Thank goodness for the Great Singapore Sale!

Not that it made me buy. I was soooo tempted. But the stuff were really regular stuff I could get in Greenhills or any of our malls in Manila, so I didnt. Just walked around aimlessly, which was really frustrating, as I am not one to do so. I prefer having a purpose --- like looking for a nice pair of pants, or shirt or whatnot. So I motivated myself to find what else? a bookstore.

And I found Kinokuniya. Hallelujah! So did I buy anything? Hell no! Again, I was aghast with the prices and I figured if ever I am buying anything, better if i buy it in Manila and help our economy... so I didn't. Although, there could have been some interesting reads there --- they have newest inventory and they had Japanese magazines! Oh well...

This trip left me feeling out of sorts. I was in an existentialist mood, questioning myself, why am I here? So to muffle the inner dialogue I had (which I would realize, would happen regularly in Singapore), I scurried back to Metropole and tucked myself in. At least the room had TV.

More adventure the next day.

Zzzzzzzz.

Singapore Lala-Land! Part 1

I am back from Singapore, from an all-paid observation visit to the Singapore Arts Festival over the weekend!

I had no idea that I would enjoy this trip more than I thought I would. For one, I wasn't very gung-ho with going to this place.I thought it was a cultural wasteland full of snobbish Singaporeans. If the prevalent news of Filipina maids suffering indignities under their Singaporean bosses don't brainwash you into thinking that every local is a potential monster, I don't know what will.

When opportunity knocks, be ready for anything. That's a word from the wise that the otherwise should follow :) Keep an open mind when traveling and it will be wonderful!

Let's start from the circumstances that brought me here.

I heard about this trip in March. One night, my boss called me to his office and told me that he would like to reward my hard work with a trip! To Singapore! He gave me an option whether to go in April --- when the budget comes around and then I would be able to see the Cubism in Asia exhibit at the Singapore Arts Museum, which we helped coordinate; or in June, during Singapore Arts Festival.

Naturally, I said I'd rather wait for June, as I am more interested in the performing arts than seeing paintings I've already seen in books.

Uncontrollable blab that I am, I bragged to friends and family that I will be sent to Singapore as a reward! Di ba, social? What office says you will be sent to a foreign country as reward? This is what I've always wanted. The recognition and appreciation for my dedication and hard work.

So that was in March. April came. May went by fast and I was getting antsy. Still no word from the boss. I didn't want to open the topic as it was a reward. I didnt want to push it. I wanted to still come off with a bit of finesse. I was already readying myself for the eventuality that the promised trip will be forfeited. I consoled myself with the idea that I can go to Singapore any time I want to. I can afford to travel on my own. And if I will be travelling abroad, it will not be in sanitary, socialist Singapore!!! ha!

Sour-graping. But at least, it made me take it easier when my boss emailed me that there was not enough budget. So, okay fine. Life goes on... ganyanan na pala... hintay ka lang pag-nagmigrate na ako... hahahaha!!!

I was supposed to go to Singapore on the the first weekend of June. Actually, June is not such a good idea to go abroad, especially for leisure, as I am sre to be busy with preparations for our next project. But since it was the weekend and that it was still 3 weeks to the event, it was manageable.

Imagine how surprised I was when after a meeting with a Japanese lighting designer, my boss called me to ask me if I am still interested to go to Singapore. Is he kidding? Did he think I'd go all demure and say "not really"???

So with the fervor of a Tasmanian she-devil, i got into preparations for the trip. As this was spur of the moment, I couldnt get good discounted seats at those budget airlines. Or even coordinate schedules with friends who might like to go along with me... it was also Great Singapore Sale!

Man, was it hectic! I had a lot of stuff on my plate. It was crazy! Booking tickets (plane, show...), coordinating with friends and contacts in Singapore... office paperwork and assorted meetings.

Finally, everything was settled. I booked a flight June 9/ 12 at Jet Star Asia. A former JF colleague was kind enough to book my room at the Metropole hotel. I was all set to watch a play featured for the Singapore Arts Fest. Had arranged to meet a renowned Singaporean director, a college batchmate, and watch friends during play rehearsal. In between, I plan to sneak bouts of shopping and aimless wandering.

The Distance Between Us

For some reason, I became pensive after attending our g.a. last night. Funny because I was in good company, literally. I regard them as family, who have seen me through my various ups and downs.

Their greetings last night were genuine and I felt distant. Man, don't you just hate that? It was like, I felt I didn't know these people --- which was strange because they were very close to me. Sigh. This is sad.

And for some reason, I am unconsciously sabotaging what is left of the bridge connecting us.

I could be joining the company integration in Laguna this weekend. But no. I am opting to go to the dentist. And I truly need that dentist's appointment. It is like my first in 3 years! Way overdue.

Next, I was too flippant, even dismissive, of an important job-related inquiry.

Better correct this. I thought I was out of this funk. I thought I've straightened out my karma.

* * * * *

Thank goodness for simple pleasures and little blessings:
1. Getting an fx at the terminal just in time.
2. Having a relatively stress free, harassment free ride at the morning MRT
3. Finishing my work for the day and solving some mysteries (I now know that the Philippines has a national football team!)
4. Chips and coke, when I was craving for it on the ride home.
5. Getting first dibs at the family computer tonight. hehehe

Home Blogger At Last

Yippeee!!! I am no longer an illicit blogger at the workplace. We now have broadband internet connection in the comfy confines of our home. Gu-reat! Subarashii!

- - -

I swear while I was squished in the fx on my way to work and going home, I had groovy ideas on what I would blog about. And I did quite a lot over these past few days, if i may say so.

In ode to this blessed connectedness, I now could do these things:
1. Blog endlessly without guilt
2. Read through blogs endlessly without guilt
3. Find a match through match.com
4. Order stuff online
5. Download goodies from the web to enhance my blog.

Let's see if we could do that...

Are Doormats Loveable?

I guess sometimes, doormats may be so cute, so convenient, so accessible, that you just had to get it and use it. After it has served its purpose, the doormat will be left soiled, tattered, and for the most time, forgotten -- unless you come indoors with shit on the sole of your shoe, then you remember, "wait, where is that doormat?"

My friend cannot be described as a doormat. At least from the way I know her. She is the strong, silent type. Witty and playful, with a sharp sense of humor. Intelligent and down-to-earth. She claims she's a nasty person, but she totally isn't. I have yet to see a REAL nasty person admit to that.She's special. I could've sworn she knew her worth.

Then she thought she found The One Guy who understood her. He made her feel happy and special. Who could deny her this joy when my friend was looking for something like this her 30 years? Not even when I knew The One Guy was married, did I dare discourage her. I told her to enjoy it while it lasts, as this may just be an affair. I didn't strongly caution her as I knew she was a responsible, smart woman. She is an adult and she can take care of herself. She knew what she was getting into: the furtive texts, the insufferable buddy-buddy atmosphere when they are in the office, the hiding from public, the clandestine meetings...and that was totally okay with her.

That was three months ago. A month ago, she just stopped texting me or replying to my texts. But last week she made her presence felt by these really vague invitations. Finally, we met yesterday and it seems that some things have changed.

TOG is no longer working at the office. He's found new work. He's technically separated from his wife. His wife is asking for an annulment. And guess what? TOG doesn't want to. He says he still loves his wife. All this he relays to my friend. Stab my heart with a pen, whydontcha?

My friend is visibly distraught. Her book choices are all about suicide and grim endings. She hasn't had a good nights rest in weeks as she has been designated sounding board of TOG. She gets late night calls from him only to hear him mope about his wife and failed relationship. To my friend.

My friend who thought she already had a new job only to have it taken again from her. My friend who thought she had a new corner window office, only to find that another officer was going to get it. My friend who loved TOG that she chose to stay away from her friends and question her faith.

Last night, when I left her, she was still thinking about meeting him. She received a text asking her to meet him. She wasn't up to it because she knew that they will be talking again about the thing that hurts her more: the fact that TOG loves his wife.

I tell her to give it up, even just for the night/day. Let the guy miss you and see your worth. For once, make him feel that you have needs too. That you have a life. That you need to be heard too.

But she says she's fine with that. Although with tears in her eyes. Yuck. This is so pathetic.

She's a big girl. She should know what she's doing.

Thoughts of Mom

I have been very touchy lately, especially towards my mom. I am not particularly happy about the way I've been treating her these days, and I guess I need to sort out my feelings toward her through this entry.

Last Sunday, we went out to celebrate my mom's birthday at Megamall together with my tita and my cousin. I don't know why and what we have been talking about but my aunt commented that my expression towards my mom was that of "exasperation". And maybe it was. Although I don't know why I was fed up that time. And I do catch myself dismissing her texts, or find a way out of the way she would make lambing in the morning and wake me up, or interrupt her when she starts to say something. I don't know why and when that started. I don't like it.

I have to do something about it fast.

But then when I hear her praising my cousin as if she's Mutya ng Pilipinas (she lost in the contest eons ago); or when she's proselytizing about going to mass every Sunday while shooting about other people's physical and moral shortcomings; how money places a premium in our life (it does you know, but we don't want to be reminded all the time); and that somewhere in the back of my mind, i have this niggling feeling that she might be right after all.

Aaaaaccckkk!

And when she's with her sister, my aunt, it's horrendous! The annoyance is sometimes to the nth power that last Sunday, the joke my sister cracked about how to silence questioning older friends and relatives asking questions as to "when are you next" when they see you at weddings, and other family gatherings (answer: the next time, you are together with these older relatives and friends who've annoyed you with the question at a funeral, ask them, "kayo po, kelan kayo susunod?), was deemed effective but really cruel.

I don't like the way she makes tampong matanda, and goes about with her "poor little old me" routine. That she feels bobo when she's with us. That she feels unappreciated. Sigh. What do you do with a needy mom?

I want to reassure her that I love her and value her ideas and insights. So much so that I react the way I do... defensively. For all my counter attack on her suggestions, I am afraid to admit that yes, she may be right --- that (more, a lot of)money will make me feel better, that a better future and a potential partner may be waiting in Western horizons.

I have a lot to thank my mom. I thank her my youthful ("oily") looks; my soulful ("sad") eyes; my machine-gun laugh; my ridiculous sense of humor and tolerance for the absurd (care of my mom's family); my down-to-earth sensibilities; and my love for family. She has encouraged me through all my interests: from reading, to hula-dancing, to ballet dancing, to speed-reading, to piano playing, to jazz dancing, to theater. She has nursed me through bad falls, minor burns and cuts, case of irregular bouts of bowel movement during childhood; irritable itchy ears; anemia; chicken pox; mumps; bad case of acne; diabetes and high blood scares.

My mother is someone I admire and love. Now shouldn't trust and respect follow?

Anti-Corruption My Ass!

My my my. I certainly hope there is justice in the world and that karma will strike fast.

Read "The Manila Times" today and caught a column in their editorial page which they pass off as news but is actually paid hacks'malicious intrigues set up to serve some mean and power-hungry person's agenda.

The agency which i worked for has been featured in the Times every now and then so I am familiar with the workings of this paper. They publish really gossipy items which are just plain skewed or senseless. Like this morning, it printed that there are gross acts of indecency and conspiracy in the agency. First, it says that there is a certain administrative officer who was seen escorting inside the premises a chichi girl, implying that something un-arts and cultural-like is happening. And then next, they write that the executive director is victim of this administrative officer, saying that the former's water dispenser was filled with bodily excretions... implying that there have been moves to weaken and harm the executive director.

Really malicious. I know the administrative officer and while he may have brought a female "entertainer" at the commission, as he is quite known for his extramarital dalliances, I am not so sure if he is quite able to be so spiteful as to put body excretions or "suka"/ vomit, as I have come to know, in the said E.D's dispenser. They made an investigation and it was not vomit at all, but bagoong or fish paste. I will not be surprised if this whole scenario has been staged by this drama queen.

I also happen to know that the Executive Director also has plans to appoint somebody else as Administrative Officer. Now, that wasn't indicated in the article, was it?

The writer/s also looked into the Chairman's travels abroad, stating the dollars spent by the government; but why don't they look into the Executive Director's spendings? Why dont they look into the grants given to her mediocre performing group who will not speak up for their own good even if they see it? I hear this group has also been performing a lot abroad since the queen made it as the agency's director. She has also been using the agency's vehicle and other equipment for the group in some of its performances. A whole group of consultants who do not show their shadows except for payday or bonuses. And a grant of 22 million ++++ for a conference-festival that she claims has no money?!!! What the?!

What a hypocrite.

I believe in the arts and the preservation and development of culture, but with her around, or with people like her, I will be the first to lobby to the philanthropists, put your money in health!!!

Artist slash Capitalist

Just got back from the back to withdraw money I will invest in my very first business venture! ayikes! i truly hope this works out for all of us.

Me and my sisters have decided to put up our own mani-pedi-spa nook. Which according to Dotie is a shoo-in, as thriving businesses today are either high-tech or high-touch. Plus all of us love getting manicures and pedicures - although rarely have the time and patience to go to those chichi places in the mall. Our services will be clean, safe, time-efficient, professional, polished and relaxing. I think we best carry these basic traits.

We will also be putting up a full-body massage area in the attic and am soo excited already! Although when I googled spa services, I was directed to really sleazy forums where Filipino guys discussed "extra services" given by the lady masseuses! Really disgusting! To thwart these perverts from entering our premises, we will have a really female-oriented look and feel.


As luck would have it, my mom has an unoccupied commercial space in the heart of our village. I don't know what propelled all 5 of us to finally decide on putting up this business but we are now inching our way to the fruition of this business. Weeks ago we measured the area space, then Dotie brought her designer friend to study the layout and present a nice design and plan for the village "spa", and now this. Slowly but surely.

It's good that my partners are my sisters because we know that we are on the lookout for each others good and welfare. We are each others' security blankets, says my sister Che. True. So true.

***
Anyway, this is very groovy because there will be more than art in my life!

***

Segue to my concert experience last night.

Good thing I decided to push through with my earlier plans to attend the British Council concert of Cynthia Alexander and Antonio Forcione quartet. Was so tempted to forego the event as it was a hassle going all the way from Makati to Quezon City without a car.

Nevertheless, I went together with Maan, who is perfect company for these activities as she is always game for this stuff. I mean, she even attends "hudhud" chanting competitions! Granted that she gets paid, but even then!

The venue was at Crossroads 77, which is somewhere near Roces I think... in the middle of the the Scouts. I thought it was very near ABS but i was wrong. Good thing we road a taxi from the MRT. Imagine this huge venue, which could seat about 3,000 - 5,000 (I think), in the middle of the 'burbs. Was told it is usually used for Christian services, and it looked well-maintained and clean. My only gripe is that the entrance to the concert was 2 steep flights down! There was no consideration for elderly or disabled people. And the comfort rooms were hard to find! When we decided to use the loo, we had to go down the 2 flights of stairs only to be directed to goo up again to where we began, use the elevator to go down a floor where there was a CR. Ok, we're good at following directions. But when we arrived at the floor, that was the backstage pala, so asa pa kami to use that CR. So we went back up, got off the elevator and asked another soul where the CRs were. We were instructed to go to the 2nd floor. So we got on the elevator again and finally found the hidden loos. Sheesh. After that, it was another trudge back down the concert hall.

Sightings that night were my former officemates at the British Council, my former boss and her partner, i think i saw Sari Dalena, Irene Marcos-Araneta and a real goodlooking boy I think is her son. What a fine looking boy. Gosh, I can hear my voice shaking like a lola na may asim pa. Oh well. Gotta find out his name and ask my friends to help me stalk him. Hahahahaha!

So back to the concert (which started late! anyway...)Mon David, who won first prize at Jazz Competition in London, opened the show by singing Nat King Cole's "A boy..." (at least I think that's the title). Swoon. That is just one of my most favorite songs! Ever since I heard it in the movie, "Untamed Heart". Sigh. Just one song from Mr. David, and Cynthia Alexander was next.


I like Cynthia Alexander's set as it was Filipino, but at the same time, kind of sounding like some other culture's music. I could very well hear the Indian influences and sometimes, I could swear that I could feel the Indigo Girls' vibe in her songs. And she sang also one of my most favorite songs! "Comfort in your Strangeness" Swoon! Actually, just listening to her was enough. If the Forcione quartet wasnt the main thing of the night, I could've just gone home. But out of courtesy, I stayed through the 15 minute intermission and 1 and a half songs of the quartet. It would have been super to hear them jam (Cynthia and the quartet) but it was already so late and we had to commute.

So, home we went. Oh, but not after me buying Isha's CD. Sweet.

Speaking of sweet, I thought the buchi i bought would be a treat. Instead it is so matigas, i could throw it against glass, and it would shatter the glass. 20 pesos down the drain :( Oh, but good thing, I ate a really scrumptious lunch: pork adobo (oozing with flavorful oils)!

If Art is Feeling...

then are all artists just pretending? Hmmm...

Watched a contemporary dance event last night at the Green Papaya Project. It was my first time to visit the place despite knowing that its been around like many years already (since I was at the National Commission for Culture and the Arts).

As we got down the place, there was already something happening on the upper floor of the gallery and people could see it because it had like a huge estante where people can view the action from outside. It seemed like a compelling activity that tricycle drivers, tambays and street urchins wanted also in on the action. Guess how that made Donna Miranda feel?

Donna Miranda is a renaissance woman, tackling multiple roles as curator, videographer, choreographer. But she is quite known as a contemporary dancer. She together with her partner, visual artist Peewee Roldan put up Green Papaya Art Projects as an alternative art space where they can showcase their kind of art.

The space is quite small and has that bohemian feel to it. And although the first wave of audiences (the village tambays) were not excatly the target audience for the night's performance, both the performers and viewers were quite pleased with the night's showcase. And if the FWT (first wave tambays) were not around, then the audience will dwindle to a measly 20 people. Sad. Although Donna was quite apprehensive about the audience (they might heckle the performances and even imagine her walking in her undies --- as they will be seeing during the performance), I think it was a good venue for this group of people to be exposed to this kind of art. My only peeve is that they smell like the sun and onions. Not a good thing when you're enclosed in a teeny space together.

Donna performed with other dancers from all around the world as part of this "Chasing the Whale" project. There were artists from Japan, one from Brazil, from Turkey, from the Netherlands, --- well, you get the idea, they were from all around. Bongga because they had this project which brought them to 4 major cities in Asia (Bangkok, Manila, Kyoto and Tokyo) in an effort to research and explore multicultural issues and expressions. Whew!

I'm no big fan of contemporary dance. Heck, the longest time I can watch without breaking into snores is about 30 minutes. So this thingy was purely research for me.

My boss asked me why contemporary dance is not popular in the Philippines. And I told him because it is something that few people can relate to. The movements are so abstract and most of the times, very personal expressions of the dancer/ choreographer that it is so hard to understand. He countered, but art is not all about understanding... it's about feeling. Well, that's well and good if the dance piece evoked some kind of impression or emotion from the audience, but what if there is none? Which is true? That the audience is dumb or the work just plain bad?

I appreciated the performance last night, especially that of Donna's. Hurray Philippines! And I think her piece (though not clearly specified, although I can feel it was hers) was the most hard-hitting and most relevant to me. The others were just sitting down, posing, standing up, writhing, stop. I can do that. hehehehe. Send me on this 3 country trip!

As with the other performances, it was so-so. I did not imagine how Paul Morales and Donna's piece could be uninteresting. But it was. Their piece started with their recollections and dreams -- and they spoke, not danced. Oh they each gave their token turns moving while the other was speaking but it was already an hour of watching contemporary dance for me. more than my quota. I couldn't wait anymore for things to get excited inside, so I quickly slunk out to go home.

After all this, karma has a way of saving the day. I rode a taxi home and instead of me giving a tip, the driver gave me a discount! Thank you!

This is My Sleeping Pose?!

Find your own pose!

Oh, the things we see over the net.

Labor Weekend

Labor weekend just went by unnoticed, just like a regular weekend. It was supposed to be a long weekend for us working stiffs, but we had an office outing Sunday so we had a day subtracted, not that I am complaining. After all, this was a day of rest and recreation, charged to the company. I was thinking of going to that area of Batangas anyway.

SUNDAY

We went to the Virgin Beach Resort at Laiya, Batangas. It was a nice enough resort. Quite bare bones, no-frills. Apparently, the management thought that people would be so happy to just take in the blue sky, the expanse of beach and the temperate waters that they would not really notice the seeming lack of toilets or shower areas. I had to wait for 15 minutes to pee!

Aside from that, and the really cheeky resort attendant we had, whom I've exchanged these words ---
Cheeky: (serving am snacks) here you go...(bumps his head on a cottage beam)
Me: (trying to make light of the situation) it seems you're not really part of this resort no? (giggle).
Cheeky: (trying to control his annoyance) Parang masaya si Ma'am ha? - It seems that you're happy today, ma'am?
Me: Of course, I am happy. It's our outing. If I'm not happy, then you will not be happy.

--- the experience was okay. The beach was not teeming with humanity, just over-excited company people like myself, trying to win at the games. The food was edible. At least, I can say that I've somehow been to Laiya, Batangas. Mabi and the rest of my friends were planning for a trip to La Luz, also at the same area. Not really that hard to go to.

SATURDAY

The day before that, we had lunch at Camilla's, who celebrated her belated birthday with us. As expected, we were fed good food and were given pasalubong from their trip to the US.

And then, we headed for Eastwood to watch "Silent Hill". Bad idea. This movie has got to be one of the worst, if not the ultimate worst movie there is. Dodoy and I were so excited to watch it because of the PS game it was based on. Alas, it was pure garbage. And I had to shell out P480! Yuck! This is the last time I'll watch something based on a computer game.



FRIDAY

Went to work early to get the condition report for Lopez Museum. Finished the job and then hitched with the conservator to Makati. Nothing extrordinary up til, we stopped by National Artist Arturo Luz's residence. I cannot divulge the location of his house, but I must say it is very apt that he stay there. I would've liked that kind of house myself. Free of clutter and lots of spaces. Although I noticed that I wouldn;t decorate it in just 2 colors like he did ( black & white); it is quite cold. Also got to listen (and react) to their conversations --- mainly gossip from the arts world.

After work, met Joey, Mabi and Felice at Shangri-La Plaza. It was good thing that we met there as I was coming from a meeting at Podium, with one of the big bosses of SM. Watch out for a project with them :)

We ate dinner at the Green Tomato at the 6th level. I had the German sausages, potato salad and Tuna Carbonara. Goodie! But was full halfway through the pasta dish. Later moved to Starbucks, had coffee and laughs. And then went all the way to CCP Harbour View. Actually was a cop out because we meant to go to Tagaytay, but was worried about Bubuy's well-being as we were almost sure that the thoroughfares will be traffic-ridden. So we had drinks by the bay (the more sedate part)and talked about stuff (I can't even remember what we said then). Felice, who lived in Laguna, checked in at the Malate Pensionne due to our late jaunt.

Well and good.

Monday

The day before my mom's birthday. Labor day. Went to Megamall with the sisters and mom. Ate at Pollo Loco. Had buy 1 take 1 coffee...(venti cafe mocha, anyone).